June 25, 2013 Leave a comment
DO ALI SPARKES’ FUN QUIZ AND FIND OUT…
Shapeshifter fans will have met Tyrone in the last two books of the Shapeshifter series, when he shows up as Gideon’s Telekinetic Tutor… but nobody knows exactly HOW Tyrone got his powers.
Out of This World, set seven years before the emergence of Dax Jones and the other Children Of Limitless Ability (COLAs), tells you how.
But maybe this is no big deal to you. Maybe YOU are already a TELEKINETIC.
Answer these questions and discover the TRUTH…
Q1. Can you move things with your brain?!
1. No. Don’t be stupid.
2. Yes. I just head butted a One Direction pencil case across the room.
3. Sometimes I think I can—when I squint at something really hard and hold my breath and make this noise which kind of goes ‘Wuh-wuh-wuh-weeeeeeeeeh.’ I made a pen roll off a desk once!
Q2. When you get angry, do metal objects seem a bit shifty-abouty?
1. No. Human objects seem a bit inmyfacey-annoy-ey.
2. Yes. Especially when I throw them around!
3. Kind of. I found some forks stuck to the ceiling after I’d had a row with my best mate…
Q3. Have you ever freaked out friends or family by bending spoons or other cutlery?
1. No. Why would I want to bend cutlery? What has it ever done to me? Apart from that time when a teaspoon got stuck in my eye… and that was probably more my fault that the teaspoon’s. I don’t hold grudges against dining implements. That way lies madness.
2. Yes! There was this time, right, when I was whacking myself over the head with a soup ladle… and after about a minute it was all bent! The ladle. Not my head: duh—that’s made of wood, that is. Could this be the wonder of telekinesis? I once set fire to my trousers too. Is that pyrokinesis?
3. Yes, I have. I also floated the bent spoons around in a little circle while everyone screamed and someone fainted. Probably shouldn’t have done that.
Q4. Have your telekinetic experiments ever led to trouble with the authorities?
1. No. I am extremely well behaved. I consider other people’s feelings and think that floating stuff about in the air in a way which might alarm anyone is reckless behaviour. Generally I try hard to avoid this kind of thing and I’m appalled at the way Ms Sparkes’ books encourage such foolishness. I’m not a spoilsport. I am perfectly well balanced, thank you. Perfectly.
2. Well, let me see… I’ve been done for heading a ball repeatedly at someone’s window and then, when they opened the window to complain, their face. (Well, I didn’t ASK them to open the window, did I?) Does that count? I mean—it’s still moving things with my head, innit?
3. Help! Help! I am being chased by a man and woman in suits, with tasers, who say they’re from the government! They want to test my brain!!! HEEEEEEELP!
NOW TOT UP YOUR RESULTS AND READ THE ANSWERS
You seem a little sceptical about the potential of the human mind. And generally quite cross. Of course, nobody has yet proved that telekinesis really exists, but it could happen. Lighten up a bit. And don’t give in to that teaspoon. Show it who’s boss.
Sorry. We don’t think you’re telekinetic… but we are concerned about the level of violence in your life. Perhaps the process of meditation, which many believe may aid the process of telekinesis, might also allow you and your pyromaniac alter ago to discover inner peace. Please do not head butt One Direction pencil cases. They don’t mean to be that annoying—it’s just in their contract.
It would seem you ARE telekinetic. Turn around and stare hard at a bin or something and spin it down the road, tripping over your government pursuers, and then leg it somewhere safe before considering your next move. Have you tried doing a little aerial display with a bag of Nice ‘n’ Spicy NikNaks? That’d be a laugh! Or melting a pylon. That’d be HILARIOUS!*
* OUP does not in anyway condone the melting of pylons with your mind. Please DO NOT try this at home.
Out of this World is out now – watch the book trailer!